评评一首绝句
<span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">谁持巨笔绘长空，一夜江山水墨中。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">轻骑交驰传羽檄，大军正出贺兰东。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><font size="4" style="font-family: Tahoma, 'Microsoft Yahei', Simsun;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">说说这首诗：</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">翻译成常用语就是——是谁手握大笔将天空当画布一挥？一夜之间，万里江山融入水墨之中。看，轻装的骑兵交相奔走，传递军事文书，大军正杀出贺兰山之东！</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">起句设问，承句造景，这两句点明冬雪之夜，不是现在，而是当年。而我也要问，是谁？两句交代夜景是不是有一点浪费字句？</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">轻骑交驰传羽檄，战报来也，这一句有一个疑问，谁报给谁？答案——大军正出贺兰东，点出题目中的</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">汉武帝派卫霍北击匈奴之事。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">通篇读来，就是传递战报。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">一二句指向不明，费字，不够凝练。是谁？不知道。第三句，也就是转句，送战报，与前面关联较弱，感觉突兀的一句。第四句，战报的内容，报给谁？汉武帝！谁在带兵打仗？汉武帝派卫霍等人！这些重要的信息诗中没有透露，是我从标题猜测出来的！那么，汉武帝的心情如何？卫青、霍去病战功如何？不知道。。。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">综上所述，本作有修改提升之很大空间。 </span></font><p style="font-family: Tahoma, 'Microsoft Yahei', Simsun; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;"></p><div style="font-family: Tahoma, 'Microsoft Yahei', Simsun; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><br></span></div><div style="font-family: Tahoma, 'Microsoft Yahei', Simsun; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">（本文作者：八卦掌付）</span></div><p></p>
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